“In the space between yes and no, there is a lifetime. It’s the difference between the path you walk and one you leave behind; it’s the gap between who you thought you could be and who you really are; it’s the leg room for the lies you will tell yourself in the future.”

~ Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart 

Now that I’ve been journalling my “yeses” for the past month or so, it’s becoming clear that there are big YESES and small yeses in my life.

Some yeses, for instance, don’t take much thought at all. Others take more time to contemplate.

Being mindful of this, I’m starting to catch myself making little excuses to say no (I’m too busy, I’m too tired, etc.).

Other times, I find myself coming up with solid reasons for saying yes or no (it’s too much money, I’m not sure if it’s safe, I need to look into that organization’s charitable number to be sure it’s legit).

This may explain why sometimes it’s just easier to say “no”. I just don’t want to take the time or make the effort to debate with myself over the two.

Food for thought.

YES #44 – Yes I will purge my winter closet of anything not worn in the past season. Chances are, I won’t be wearing it next season either! Off to Value Village we go…

YES #45 – Yes I get up with my son multiple times in one night when he’s not feeling well. My husband sleeps on, but hey, he’s got to be at work early and I’m on a flexible schedule this week. But man, do I crave my sleep…

YES #46 – Yes I will boycott Nestea waters and teas after the CEO made a crazy comment about water not being a basic human right. Oh, really?

“At the side of the everlasting why, is a yes, and a yes, and a yes.” ~ E.M. Forster

A couple of years ago, my son’s grade four class took a field trip to a conservation area with dozens of caves to explore.

Before too long, the kids were on their hand and knees, crawling into the low caves and discovering larger ones as they progressed through the cave network.

The adult chaperones stood outside the caves, listening and calling out to our little spelunkers as they explored.

“Are you all right in there? Everything OK? Do you need your water bottle?”

The kids were having a blast. The adults were — well, adulting.

Except for one mom, Jessie. She was down on her hands and knees crawling through the caves right alongside the kids. Her voice echoed through the caves as she called out to her fellow explorers and laughing when her head bumped against one of the cave ceilings.

“That was brave of you,” I observed as we sat down at the park picnic tables to enjoy our bag lunches. “You were just like a kid down there!”

Jessie smiled. “I had a brain tumour scare last year,” she told me matter-of-factly. “They removed the mass, and I vowed if I got out of that situation alive, I would never say no to life again.”

Wow. That stopped me in my tracks. If I knew I only had one year to live, what would I start saying “yes” to?

After lunch, I caught up with the kids, flicked on my flashlight and shouted, “Lead the way!” to my son.

Off we went, exploring life.

YES #41 -Yes I will sign up to chaperone my son’s grade five trip to Medieval Times.

YES #42 -Yes I will agree to eat my lunch with my hands even though the idea pretty much grosses me out.

YES #43 – Yes I will take the time to chat with other parents on the long bus ride despite the fact that I’m wiped out and would rather be listening to my itunes.

William: Would you like a cup of tea before you go?

Anna Scott: No.

William: Orange juice? No, probably not… something else cold? Coke? Water? Some disgusting sugary drink pretending to have something to do with fruits of the forest?

Anna Scott: No.

William: Do you… always say no to everything?

Anna Scott: [thinks] No.

 ~ Notting Hill (film, 1999)

Yes #38 – Yes I will agree to have lunch with a graduate who wants to reflect on the good, the bad and the ugly of a recent contract experience.

Yes #39 – Yes I will listen to a work colleague vent on and on about how terrible it is to work at our college, even though I love it here. Everyone needs to vent sometimes.

Yes #40 – Yes I will hear my daughter out without interrupting when she makes her case for purchasing a guinea pig (yet again).

“We will not build a peaceful world by following a negative path. It is not enough to say, ‘We must not wage war.’ It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it. We must concentrate not merely on the negative expulsion of war, but on the positive affirmation of peace. We must see that peace represents a sweeter music, a cosmic melody that is far superior to the discords of war.” ~ Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Yes #35 – Yes I will take the time check up on my kids’ Instagram accounts in my spare time. I try not to be too controlling when it comes to their content, but kids don’t have the big picture view of the trouble they could get into if an adult doesn’t supervise activities like these.

Yes #36 – Yes I will let the dog stop what seems like 500 times to sniff every bush and tree even though I’d rather have a fast-paced walk. Patience, I tell myself. Patience.

Yes #37 – Yes I will enjoy a morning to shopping with my daughter, and even though we don’t find anything, just spending the time together lifts our spirits.

“I imagine that yes is the only living thing.” ~ e.e. cummings

Yes #32 – Yes I will try a mouthful of salmon at a lunch with friends. Even though I’m not a fan of salmon. And you know what? It was good!

Yes #33 – Yes I will attempt to help my son with his plasticine Tokay Gecko sculpting project. But he far better at it than me, in the end. At best, I am a good at softening the plasticine so he can shape it. And the end result is amazing! I’m tempted to say “yes” to my son who wants to slip it into his sister’s bed just to hear her shriek. But in the end. I think better of it.

Yes #34 – Yes I finally decide to throw out the leftover blueberry pie I made last Saturday. Let’s be honest, no one’s going to eat it, but it took so much work to make!

“The oldest and shortest words — “yes” and “no” — are those which require the most thought.” ~ Pythagoras 

Yes #29- Yes I will talk to my daughter as the young adult she is becoming as a boy shows interest in her. So hard not to overdo it in the “advice” department. But I will hold my tongue, listen to what she has to say and support her with gentle guidance.

Yes #30 Yes I will allow my kids to go off to school without an umbrella even though the The rain clouds are gathering. They are at an age when they need to experience (in a safe way) the consequences of action.

Yes #31 Yes I will attend the grand opening of the business of one of my good friends and former employees. Women need to support each other, not tear each other down. It boggles the mind that some people believe there isn’t enough success to go around. Such a narrow view of the world, really.

“Never say ‘no’ to adventures. Always say “yes’, otherwise you’ll lead a very dull life.” ~ Ian Fleming 

Yes #26 – Yes to a trip to Starbucks to lift my daughter’s spirits after a hard day. #YesToIndulgence

Yes #27 – Yes to a rainy afternoon binge watching Downtown Abbey with said daughter.

Yes #28 – Yes to a game of Jenga while dinner is cooking with my son. Even though I lost.